Inebriated
by Lunchbox413
Summary: "He's really going to have to stop hanging out with Jiraiya. It's a little unclear how exactly it occurs, but the old Toad Sage always seems to find a way to convince him to drink..." -A KakaSasu fic. Rated T for some language and kissing.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Shippuden, or any of the characters. If I did, KakaSasu would be canon and Jiraiya would still be alive.**

**Author's Note: This is set in Naruto, sometime after Tsunade becomes Hokage, but before Sasuke leaves the village and the pairing is KakaSasu. ****This is a one-shot, but I'm considering adding more chapters that will all be separate incidents, each one involving Kakashi getting drunk (obviously). I have a few ideas and not all of them involve Sasuke, but all of them involve Jiraiya somehow since he is the one who always influences my Kakashi-muse to drink. I'm making them all separate so I can write them at my own leisure without leaving you all with a cliff hanger.**

**But for now, please enjoy this little piece that I had a little too much fun writing!**

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He's really going to have to stop hanging out with Jiraiya.

It's a little unclear how exactly it occurs, but the old Toad Sage always seems to find a way to convince him to drink, which always, _always_, ALWAYS results in complete and total inebriation. And then the old Sannin, after pushing the younger man to drink far past his limit, will disappear to chase after some girl (or to pay Lady Hokage a special late night visit).

Tonight is no different. Kakashi had agreed to meet his teacher's teacher at their favorite bar on the edge of the village and, once again, he's been left to find his own way home. Once he realized that Jiraiya had left him, he'd stayed at the bar for a bit, hoping to sober up a little before trying to stumble his way home but he's been wandering around the village for a while now and he's growing increasingly irritated at the amount of time it's taking to get to his bed. All he really wants is to pass out and enjoy the deep sleep that alcohol induces, but his house is still nowhere to be seen—even though he's sure it _was_ on this street somewhere.

The moon is bright tonight and the sky is perfectly clear of clouds, and Kakashi looks up and stares at the stars, enjoying their beauty. Alcohol always helps him appreciate the little things that he is so quick to overlook most of the time.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He recognizes his student's voice, but keeps staring at the sky. "Just looking."

Sasuke walks up to stand in front of him. "At what?"

"The stars." In his peripherals, he can see the teen's head tilt upward.

"Why?"

He shrugs. "Trying to enjoy little things." He waits a moment or two, before finally tearing his eye away from the sky and meeting his student's gaze.

The Uchiha is staring at him now with one eyebrow raised in question. "Are you okay?"

"Of course." He smiles in that strange way that he does, with his one visible eye forming an upside-down crescent.

The boy looks skeptical. "You're acting strange."

Kakashi scoffs, offended by the accusation. "You're one to talk."

Sasuke looks annoyed by this comment and is about to reply with a clever retort when the copy-nin suddenly leans forward as if he's going to fall on his face. The genin reaches out to catch him, but Kakashi's body suddenly bends and he's able to regain his balance.

"Oops." He snickers.

Sasuke stands up straight and smirks. "Are you seriously drunk right now?"

Kakashi tries to hold in his laughter and instead lets out a rather unattractive snort. "No."

The Uchiha chuckles at this. "I never imagined that someone like you would get drunk. You're always so disciplined and reserved. Isn't this against your code, or something like that?"

This question irritates him slightly. "Yes, it is. But when the Legendar...legen...leg..." he pauses, trying to remember what word he's looking for, but quickly gives up and skips it. "When a Sannin asks you to go for a drink, you don't just turn it down."

This piece of information seems to irk Sasuke a little, but before Kakashi can even begin to try and figure out why, the boy changes the subject.

"So, what are you doing wandering around in the street?"

He looks around, taking in his surroundings. "I was at the bar...and then I was alone...so I decided to go home. But now, I can't figure out where my house is. It _used_ to be on this street, but someone has moved it."

Sasuke sighs and shakes his head. "Your house is three streets over, genius."

Kakashi looks around again, trying desperately to get his bearings, but failing miserably. His mind is bleary and unfocused and he really can't tell the difference between any of the buildings on this street.

The Uchiha sighs again, moving closer to the older shinobi and reaching out to grab a fist-full of his dark blue sleeve. "Come on. I'll take you home."

Kakashi allows himself to be led by his student and tries to focus on walking upright without tripping as they head down the street.

It feels like an eternity goes by before Sasuke finally stops and lets go of his teacher, who smiles and indelicately pats him on the head. The teen grumbles at this, but simply crosses his arms and allows it to happen.

The copy-nin tries to open the door, but he can't seem to figure out how the key fits into the slot and after a few failed attempts, Sasuke grows impatient and snatches the key out of the older shinobi's hand, opening the door without any difficulty.

"Now, go to bed and get some sleep," the boy commands, as if the roles have been reversed and _he_ is now the teacher instructing his student.

At this point, Kakashi's reached the peak of his intoxication, and he succumbs easily to his newly cast role of the insolent student. Leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms, he smirks, as if he's challenging the authoritative teen. "I'm not tired."

Sasuke glares. "You will be as soon as you lie down."

"I don't think I can find my bed. Will you show me where it is, Sasuke-kun?" His tone is light and suggestive (so not like Kakashi) and it sort of reminds Sasuke of the tone Sakura uses whenever she tries to suggest that he spend time alone with her, but hearing this tone coming from his teacher is a totally different experience. It stirs something in the pit of his stomach—a strange fluttering feeling, as if someone's just released a rabble of butterflies inside of him.

Doing his best to ignore the undulation in his gut, the Uchiha grabs a hold of his teacher's sleeve again. "Don't call me that," he commands, dragging the older shinobi through the door and into the apartment.

After a few successful steps, Kakashi stumbles, nearly knocking over the dark-eyed teen in the process. "Sorry, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke's pretty certain that the drunken man is _not_ sorry at all, but he ignores the repeated use of the pesky honorific and pulls Kakashi over to the small bed in the corner of the room. He positions them both so that the copy-nin's back is to the bed and they are both facing each other now and then he gives the older shinobi a gentle push, expecting him to just fall backwards.

Kakashi doesn't seem to understand the plan and as soon as his body begins to fall, he frenetically attempts to steady himself by grabbing onto the closest thing he can reach...which happens to be his unsuspecting student. The two fall onto the bed with Sasuke landing mostly on top, but his one leg gets trapped beneath the dead weight of his intoxicated teacher.

Once he recovers from the fall and realizes what's happened, Kakashi begins to snicker, making a hissing sound between his teeth, and as if that sound isn't peculiar enough, he then breaks into a full, boisterous laugh that shakes his whole body (and Sasuke's) and brings a tear to his exposed eye. It's such a rich, uninhibited sound coming from the man who is always so cautious, so reserved, so closed off from real emotions. It's infectious, this pleasing audial stimulus, and Sasuke is so shocked by it that he succumbs to the infection, laughing along with his teacher.

It's take a minute or two before they're both gasping for air and the laughing dies down, being replaced with erratic chuckles through labored breaths, and then finally, silence. Sasuke looks down at the silver-haired scarecrow, who in this moment looks so young and vibrant, despite being more than a decade his elder, and he feels that fluttering again, low and deep in his abdomen.

Kakashi opens his dark visible eye, that leaks a leftover tear from the laughing fit, and gives the boy a salacious, half-lidded gaze. "You could have told me you wanted to come to bed with me, Sasuke-kun." His tone has changed again—tonight, Sasuke's learning that there are many different voices of Kakashi—and each word is pronounced languidly, with suggestive intention.

He suppresses a shiver, but with their close proximity, he's pretty sure that the shinobi beneath him feels it anyway. The smirk on Kakashi's face confirms his fears and Sasuke struggles to remove himself from the bed before his embarrassment reaches his face, but finds that his leg is still tangled and stuck beneath the older man's body.

He's trapped here, straddling his drunken teacher's lean, but surprisingly muscular, body with this horrible swarm of butterflies in his stomach that feel as if they are lighting his insides on fire with each flutter of their wings. And Kakashi's still looking up at him with that one dark eye, that damn lascivious eye that's staring at him—into him, as if it can see the fire butterflies flying around inside him and the warm blood that's threatening to fill his cheeks with a mortifying pink hue.

And so, Sasuke, being the incredibly impulsive creature that he's always been, follows the first capricious thought that enters his mind. Taking a firm hold of the man's vest, he pulls Kakashi's limp body up and places a firm kiss on masked lips. He lingers on the older shinobi's mouth, making sure to keep his eyes squeezed shut to avoid allowing the perceptive man any more access to the inner workings of his mind, and to avoid any rejection or disgust that might possibly be surfacing in that all-seeing eye.

Kakashi chuckles against his mouth and Sasuke loosens his grip and breaks the kiss, still refusing to open his eyes, afraid of what he might see.

"That's not how you kiss someone, Sasuke-kun," the jounin teases in a whisper, before pulling the teen in by the back of his neck for another kiss.

Sasuke's shocked at the feel of smooth, dry lips against his, but he recovers quickly and kisses back, tightening his grip on the man's vest again. The kiss is nothing like Sasuke's first kiss with Naruto was. That was quick, accidental, and a little painful, since the other boy had basically fallen onto his mouth. He'd actually been worried that he was going to bruise from the impact, but luckily, he hadn't. He doubts he'll be so lucky after this one.

Kakashi' kiss is insatiable and rough and devouring and he grips a fistful of the Uchiha's ebony hair, preventing any thoughts of escape. Sasuke's tries to keep up, always a fast learner by nature, but as soon as he begins figuring out the rhythm of the kiss, Kakashi forces his tongue past the teen's soft, inexperienced lips and changes the pace completely. He slows their movements down, licking and nipping at the boy's tongue and mouth laggardly, and when he finally pulls away, he drags his teeth over Sasuke's slightly tumid bottom lip, inciting a shiver from somewhere deep within the boy's core.

Just as quickly as they reversed, the student-teacher roles have been righted once again and Kakashi's back to being the one in control. He releases his grip on the teen and slips his mask back up over his nose before falling back to lie flat on the bed, allowing his arms to fall idly out to the sides.

Sasuke also releases his grip and rest his hands on the copy-nin's chest, holding himself up as he fights to regulate his breathing.

Kakashi watches him carefully, waiting.

When the Uchiha finally catches his breath, he meets his teacher's stoic gaze and stares down at the older man, always challenging, no matter the circumstance, always determined not to back down.

The jounin smirks, accepting the challenge. Even in his impaired state of mind, he knows he'll win this. Sasuke's far too impatient to play this kind of game with him.

As expected, it only takes 27 and a half seconds for the boy to concede and as he crosses his arms and looks away, indignantly, Kakashi shifts his gaze to the ceiling and releases a deep sigh.

"I may be just a tad bit inebriated," he regretfully admits, though he's proud that he managed to get the whole sentence out without a stutter. The alcohol is wearing off a little now, but his brain is still not functioning as quickly or as competently as it normally would.

Sasuke's silent for a moment, still staring off to the side, and then releases a sigh of his own. "Just a bit?" He tone is harsh, angered, and it incites a spark of guilt through Kakashi's hazy mind.

"I'm sorr-"

"It's fine," Sasuke cuts of his apology, angry eyes still fixated on the far wall. "You can just pretend that you went home with the Fifth Hokage and all this stuff happened with her, instead of me."

This catches Kakashi's attention and he looks up at his student, perplexed by this odd suggestion.

The Uchiha doesn't seem to notice and he continues, "It's not like I'll tell anyone anything, so you've got nothing to worry about."

"I'm sorry, but...what the hell are you talking about?" Kakashi asks, completely confused as to how Lady Tsunade has suddenly entered this conversation.

Sasuke meets the jounin's befuddled expression and echoes it with his own. "You said that she asked you out for a drink and you couldn't say no."

"Did I say that?" He tries to recall the earlier conversation and although he does remember the events of the evening, the details are murky.

"Yes, you did. You said that when a Sannin asks you to go for a drink, you don't say no."

Kakashi focuses on trying to sort through the haze to find the details that he knows are there somewhere...and then it clicks, and he looks up at the dark-haired teen, amused. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Yes!" the Uchiha shouts, flustered by the repetitive question. "I'm the sober one here. I think I remember much better than you do!"

The copy-nin suppresses a laugh, not wanting to make the teen any angrier. "And you're sure that I was talking about Lady Tsunade?"

Black eyes flare and the boy finally tears his gaze away from the wall and glares down at the man beneath him. "Of course! Is there any other Sann..." he trails off and a dark blush creeps into his cheeks. "Shit."

Kakashi allows his laughter to escape now, enjoying his obstinate student's flustered expression a little too much.

The Uchiha begins fighting to free himself again, desperate to escape with the tiny shred of dignity that he has left, but the copy-nin grabs his wrists and shows surprising strength despite his alcohol-induced impairment. Frantic onyx meet placid gray and the struggling stops.

"Sasuke," Kakashi's voice demands the boy's attention, "I'm sorry."

The apology is spoken with authoritative sincerity, and Sasuke takes comfort in the familiar tone. This is the voice of Kakashi that he's become accustomed to and the familiarity helps him to regain some confidence.

"It's fine. Like I said, I'm not going to tell anyone so you can just pretend it never happened." He speaks with a forced indifference and once again avoids the scarecrow's discerning eye, clearly trying to evade any further discussion of the topic at hand.

But Kakashi is not easily dismissed and he is not about to let this drop just yet. His body and mind protest as he props himself up on an elbow, and he's forced to close his eye and wait for the room to stop spinning. Once the dizziness has mellowed, he reaches up and places a hand on the boy's gaunt cheek. Sasuke looks at him again, and Kakashi can see flight in the boy's dark eyes and he knows he must act quickly.

Pulling the teen in again by the back of his neck, Kakashi presses their foreheads together, gently, but firm enough to make sure that he has the boy's full attention. "I don't want to forget it," he whispers earnestly.

Sasuke releases the breath he's been holding in and his mouth curves into a crooked smile—it's the closest the Uchiha ever really gets to smiling. And suddenly, Kakashi's mask is pulled down and Sasuke's shoving his lithe tongue into the copy-nin's mouth.

Kakashi's actually surprised and a little impressed by his student's sudden boldness as he allows himself to be pressed back onto the bed, but just as he begins to plot a reciprocation, the boy ends the kiss. His mask is quickly replaced and then Sasuke is sitting up, wearing that smirk that he wears when he thinks he's won.

"Go to sleep."

Kakashi looks up at his commanding student, amused. "I'm not tired."

Sasuke, who cleverly managed to slide his foot out from under the older shinobi during his surprise kiss, gets up from the bed and heads for the door. "Too bad. Go to sleep."

Kakashi chuckles. "I kind of like it when you're bossy, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke blushes at the reappearance of seductive Kakashi and he flees quickly from the room, slamming the door behind him. The copy-nin laughs and rolls over, finally ready to welcome the deep alcohol induced sleep that he's been longing for. As he drifts in and out of consciousness, he entertains the thought of the drunken Toad Sage being pounded into the ground for waking the ill-tempered Slug Queen, and it brings him a twisted satisfaction.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading, guys! You're reviews are like chocolate to me, and I _really_ love chocolate, so please review and make me a very happy girl.**


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